Cousin Francesca sent me these, and they are just begging to be shared:

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: ; Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he’s twenty-one.
________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shittin’ me?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh…. I was gettin’ laid!
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS : Are you shittin’ me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 P.M.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh….are you qualified to ask that question?

And the best for last

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law

Today we went to the movies together for the first time in over a year. Its not easy to take time for these things, even if you love cinema its just so much easier for one of us to stay home and take care of the little guy. There is this really nice cinema here that focuses on European quality movies. Pretty narrow stuff sometimes but so different and so good! It has been years and years since my last visit, but they are still going strong.

So the choice of the evening: Le Fils de L’Epicier A classic feel-good movie about a city boy who is forced to go back the countryside town of his childhood. There isn’t much to describe in words as the whole movie floats on spectacular photo of the Provence countryside. I loved it. Also we noticed two more movies we need to see there later My kid could paint that and Die Fälscher. Expect similar mini-reviews of them as well, when we get the time..

Aron is 10 months old today and his talents for exploration and demolition are getting greater and greater. Last week he took on the habit of waking up at 5 am, and be ready to play! SInce I currently am the designated hausfrau it is my duty to get out of bed and keep the little imp happy. We will try to change his sleeping pattern next week..

The first image especially is showing the talents of the cameraman, holding the camera usb cable just in front of the subject is a mark of a true professional.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgMheLBw1Rs]

Sweden is seeing the warmest winter ever, or at least in the 280 years that reliable measuring has been done. So we are using our time to get the little one as much free air and sun as possible. Here you see him at our nearest playground. He was very very tired but maybe liked it anyway.

Also as you notice I can produce movies now, pretty amazing how simple it was to configure. I’m using Kino under Ubuntu linux and transfer the video as well as control the camera digitally using firewire. Really really fun! Aron is more mobile now, and pretty soon we will have a home visit from the nurse-center that will check out our home to make sure its safe for little explorers.  Now you have to excuse me, we need to get back outdoors!

So many things are new. Aron is now eagerly exporing his surroundings, with new mobility and endless curiousity he takes on each day with the same happiness and lust for exploration.

We have just borrowed a proper DV camera so video clips are coming soon

Aron is 9 months old today! As you can see in the pictures above he can now manage a water bottle with great skill. Also yesterday he finally got his fourth tooth, the first in his upper jaw, and that means that he (and the rest of the family) will be sleeping a little better. He can now crawl and show very clearly what toys he wants to play with. The all time favorite toy is the TV remote control.. im not sure how he got that idea.

I have been home with Aron now for a few weeks and everything is going well. He has some more teeth, claps his hands together when we sing for him and is generally too cute to describe.

Here we have the little guy testing one of his christmas present - a sled - on the only day so far that had a little snow.

And here the daily activities had to end, on the last pics you can see Lego. The cat that knows no fear. The only cat i met that challenges big dogs head on, as well as approaching bicycles.. and approaching cars..  He has expressed interest in Aron before, namely when he is in his tram and his hand is dangling in view of cats on the ground ready to pounce…    Lego always means trouble, so after chasing him around with a stick we decided to call it a day.

Just in time for Christmas this wonderful piece of news arrives: New Line Cinema and Peter Jackson will indeed produce movies on the Tolkien book The Hobbit. Not only one movie but two! It will be pretty exciting to see what they can come up with to fill two movies.

Growing up The Hobbit was one of my favourite childrens books, and its very exciting to see it being presented on the big screen.  Below you find an earlier version of Bilbo.

[youtube=bFoytXbjjWI]

The Hobbit: The Official Movie Blog

[youtube="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gv1qnPAiSI"]

Here are some pics to get you in the proper holiday mood. The photographer had to be on constant vigilance since he can fall down at any moment. As you can see he can sit now, but he still cannot put himself in a sitting position. Other things that are happening right now is that he is trying hard to make himself understood. He has been talking for a good while now, without using any real words of course. You can tell that he knows very well the meaning of “mama” and “papa”. When we sing songs with these words in them for him you can see him smile, trying to mimic the words.

This morning I woke up by his tiny little fists hammering away at my chest while he was yelling DADADADA, a sign of affection if there ever was one.